SUMMARY: As per title. PG. Vague spoilers for season five. Written
March 2002 in a pancake house when I should have been doing some real
Spike enters a large, darkened room. There is a rug in the middle of the floor, a wooden trunk pushed into a window bay, and a writing table and chair standing next to a second window. The windows are swinging open, their curtains billowing in the wind. It is night.
SPIKE: I can hear you. (Sing-song) I can hear you breathing!
SPIKE: Shouldn't have let me in.
He walks up to the trunk. Smiling, he taps his fingers along the top, back and forth, back and forth. Then, with a sudden lunge, he pulls the trunk open and reaches in to grasp at---nothing. He peers in.
SPIKE: Where've you gone?
He stands up straight again and touches the back of his head. When he looks at his fingers, there is blood on them. He backs away from the trunk, absent-mindedly licking off the blood while opening the door to an adjoining room with his other, cleaner, hand.
The second room is empty; a sofa, a chair and some incidental items of furniture are all covered in white dust sheets. There is a faint sound of singing. Spike moves towards a pair of French windows leading outside. He opens these to find:
Drusilla, in a thin white dress, playing with Miss Edith. She sits on the snow-covered cobblestones of a courtyard. It is snowing lightly. Still night.
DRU: Half a pound of tuppenny rice, half a pound of treacle. That's the way the money goes---Pop! goes the weasel.
SPIKE: Drusilla! What are you doing out here, Pet? You'll catch your death.
DRU: I brought you a present!
She kisses Miss Edith on the head and then stands up, giggling. She is holding something behind her back. Then she reaches forward to place a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles on Spike's nose.
DRU: You're not seeing clearly.
SPIKE: (taking hold of her arms) Dru...
Drusilla continues to giggle and starts running her hands up and down his chest. He leans over to kiss her, but she pulls away, shaking her head. She backs away into the darkness, leaving him standing alone.
Spike hears a scuttling sound behind him, back in the house. He turns and...
Finds himself back in the first room, except this time it's day. He staggers back to escape direct sunlight. Lounging around on the rug are Anya, Xander, Oz, Willow and Giles. Giles is dressed as he was for ``Band Candy''---in jeans, white tank top and without glasses---and he's smoking. All are playing a board game.
ANYA: Spike! Do you want to play? I've saved you a seat.
She pats a spot next to her. The others groan.
ANYA: Only game in town!
SPIKE: You know that's not my thing.
He steps further into the room, looking about himself while still avoiding direct sunlight.
SPIKE: Where's the slayer? Doesn't she get to play?
Giles reaches out and seizes Spike's foot.
GILES: (menacingly) You don't lay a finger on her, do you hear?
SPIKE: Sure, pops. I know the drill. Besides, I can't hurt her, I've got this chip (gestures to his head).
GILES: (muttering) I'm sure you'll think of something.
Giles releases Spike's foot.
ANYA: Oh look! I'm winning.
XANDER: But I've told you before, An. Your turn only lasts fifty years.
ANYA: (disappointed) Oh.
SPIKE: (shaking his head) You're not even worth eating.
He goes back to the other room, which is in night. The dustcover has been pulled from one of the chairs and Angelus is sitting there. He's dressed in late 1800s clothing and his Oirish accent is in full swing.
ANGELUS: William, my boy. How're you doing?
SPIKE: Piss off.
ANGELUS: Now, what sort of way is that to greet an old friend? (Beat) Haven't seen you in the killing fields for an age.
SPIKE: Well, it's not through want of trying.
A long white arm snakes into shot, over Angelus' shoulder. It is Dru's. She coils around him as Angelus gets up from the chair to face Spike.
ANGELUS: You just don't get it, do you? You never did. I get to them first and then (his arm encircling Dru's waist)---I take them away from you.
DRU: (to Angel) He doesn't look well. (Reaches out to pinch Spike's face affectionately.) A bit peaky.
Spike's POV. Angel and Dru regard him dispassionately. She extends a finger and then withdraws it.
DRU: I think they're supposed to bite.
Angelus turns himself and Dru around so that are facing each other in an embrace.
ANGELUS: Face it, Dru. You left him alone too long and now he's forgotten how to feed.
She rubs her face tearfully into his shoulder.
ANGELUS: There, there now. Shall we make you another?
The scuttling sound returns.
SPIKE: (in alarm) Did you hear that?
Angelus and Dru ignore him and begin to kiss.
SPIKE: It's them, isn't it? All of them. They're out to get me.
He turns to run back through to the first room, where it's night again. Harmony sits lengthwise on the trunk, painting her nails.
HARMONY: (to herself) I mean, at least not all of my friends are imaginary.
Spike backs into the second room, which is now empty. The scuttling continues. A glimpse of black hair. Spike runs to the outer doors, but they're locked.
SPIKE: Bloody hell!
He rattles at the door, then punches through the door handle with his palm. He flings himself outside, where he finds---
He is in bright sunlight, in the desert. He's chained to a makeshift wooden platform so that he's dangling from his arms and his shirt is torn. He thrashes about.
To one side we can now see Buffy. She's wearing a tiny red dress and enormously high heels. The cheese man stands beside her and she chooses a piece from his platter. She eats it slowly, smacking her lips.
An impression of thick black hair and a mud-smeared visage.
BUFFY: What are you waiting for? I told you to gut him. (Smugly) There's going to be nothing left of him once I'm done.
The First Slayer flings herself at the chained Spike.